Hang in there, Mr. President
To the editor:
The following is an open letter to President Obama.
Here’s how you can take a major bite out of the federal deficit and save taxpayers $1.4 billion right now: Stop giving aid to Egypt’s military.
What’s more, the savings compound nicely when you apply this motif to every uncooperative foreign state to whom you unconditionally dole out taxpayers’ hard-earned income.
Not permanently, of course.
Just make it 3 months or so, which seems long enough for any foreign state to sweat its addiction to our donation. Then they’ll come around and do exactly what we pay them for.
Look, I’m compelled to offer help because you just don’t seem to understand how this imperialism thing is really supposed to work. Frankly, I worry you’ll bail out on it way too soon, just like you did on free-market capitalism. (Sigh) I could’ve helped with that, too.
So hang in there, Mr. President. Just a few years more. You may be in over your head, but you’re not in this alone.
I may not have voted for you, but I want you to know that you can count on me for all the advice you need, as often as you need it, and even when you don’t realize you need it.
I just can’t keep shovelling out money unconditionally anymore.