Hallmark never saw it coming. The greeting-card company practically invented “Happy Birthday” (and made trillions on everyone’s), but it was running into a business-model problem. The U.S. birth rate was down, meaning fewer birthday cards.
And then came Dobbs v. Jackson — the game changer. State legislatures rushed not only to bludgeon Roe v. Wade but also to obliterate any exception, restriction or merciful absolution concerning abortion. Justice Samuel Alito had done the federal spadework; all that was needed to justify the states running the show was a discredited legal concept that had failed earlier. Welcome to the birth (loosely speaking) of “personhood.” We are who we are not from the instance of birth, but from the very moment of conception. The opening chapter of Dickens’ “David Copperfield” will be amended to “Chapter One: I am conceived.” If it’s not, your child will not be reading it at school.
So back to Hallmark. The reader understands this exercise was never about greeting-card companies. But Personhood Nation needs its celebrations and commemorations. Why not a “Personhood Day” for every fertilized egg? What’s wrong with fetal baptisms, in utero christenings or embryo godparents (all excellent card/gift occasions)?
How can you not love it? Personhood solves religious issues, constitutional concerns, social problems and economic dilemmas. Now, if we could only push personhood back a bit further until all those little eggs were just “a gleam in Daddy’s eye.” Gleamhood! Protect the gleamers!
Happy Personhood Day, everyone!
Daniel Sullivan
Bennington