There is a huge cavern in the street in front of my daughter’s home. Rain has created trenches and gigantic holes. All wheel drive is a must, but I have seen bicycles, motorcycles and a Toyota Yaris. I find it best to not look when we squeeze past the eight-foot-deep hole. I am in Kigali, Rwanda.
Dave and I are visiting with our oldest daughter and her family doing the Gramma and Grandpa gig. And, of course, we are enjoying new sights, experiences, and culture. Anywhere they call home, I want to visit: to see what their daily life is like, to meet their friends.
We dropped Elsa off at the international school, watching her skip down the sidewalk with her classmates. There are eleven children in her kindergarten class representing sixteen different nationalities. No problem with diversity in this school.
Ivan is almost four and is part of a co-op preschool two days a week. Each mom takes turns hosting. Today’s session focused on the letter P. They drew pictures of pizza and played with play dough.
Iris, at twenty one months, is content with Mommy, Daddy, blankie, and Quack Quack. Dave and I are affectionately referred to as Bup Bup.
We took a few days to explore, spending a night in the volcano region. A guided hike to see golden monkeys took us through potato fields and the edge of the jungle to find these wonderful creatures doing classic monkey maneuvers- swinging from trees, carrying babies on their backs, and eating potatoes with nimble fingers.
Lake Kivu is ten times the size of Lake Winnipesaukee. My daughter and son-in-law found a cottage by the lake that they have returned to a number of times. It has a private beach where they can relax. It was a little different from New Hampshire. A mango was floating in the water from a nearby tree. The lake doesn’t have crocodiles and hippos because there is methane gas under the lake bottom. We listened to traditional Rwandan drumming from the resort next door in the evening. And the water stopped working for about 12 hours- something about the public water system was down. There is also the awareness that you must wash off as soon as you get out of the water and Dave and I might need to take medicine after we return home to keep us from getting a nasty thing called schistosomiasis. The price you pay for a relaxing day at the beach.
They live in a country that has summer 365 days a year. The temperature is between 60 and 80 every day and the sun rises at 6:00am and sets at 6:00pm. It is always growing season. The plants are exotic, beautiful, and lush.
Living in Rwanda has its challenges. You can’t just drop by Shaw’s and pick up the groceries. You go to one store for meat, another market for fruits and vegetables. There is a special shop for batteries. We haven’t been able to find WD-40 anywhere yet perhaps because we haven’t found anyone who knows what it is. All produce must be washed in vinegar before eating and is usually cooked to be safe. Tap water is unsafe to drink. Washing machines are smaller- the first place they lived had a washing machine that looked like a salad spinner connected to a garden hose. The lawn is cut using clippers. Things we consider simple and straight forward require extra thought and care. Buying cloth at the market involves overcoming the language barrier, the metric system and the US dollar/ Rwandan franc conversion. Not to mention figuring out how to barter (or not).
Emily and Brandon have been in Rwanda for almost six years. Raising a family in a different culture seven thousand miles from home and family is not easy. They are brave and adventurous. Connecting with other families who are also far from home has enabled them to develop friendships that provide support and encouragement to the whole family. They have found their way into groups with young moms, potluck suppers with people who are newly arrived and those who have lived in Africa for decades. They have developed a wide web of friendships, with many deep relationships in the six years they’ve been here. We are amazed at the cadre of people who they care about and who care about them: who have walked together through successes and disappointments, job stresses, sicknesses and betrayals, and births and joy filled moments.
Being here makes me appreciate my home, my friends, my community, our Monadnock region. I am thankful to have friends who have supported us as we raised our girls here. I am reminded of how important making the time to develop and maintain friendships is to our personal and family well-being. We cannot raise our families in isolation. We need each other. Thank you for being part of the roots of our family.
Margaret Nelson is the executive director of the River Center Family and Community Resource Center in Peterborough.